Cat out of Hell by Lynne Truss

Author:Lynne Truss [Lynne Truss]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Random House
Published: 2013-12-18T00:00:00+00:00

PART THREE

Correspondence

From: Alec Charlesworth

Sent: Thursday 15 January, 4.25pm

To: William Caton-Pines

Subject: Roger

Attachments: Beside the Sea (folder) and HOME (file)

Dear William Caton-Pines,

This is a very difficult email to write. The long and short of it is that I have heard of what happened at Shingle Cottage, and much as I have resisted becoming involved in the story of the two individuals known as Roger and the Captain, I find that I am now in it absolutely up to my neck. I have had to leave my house! I’ve had to move into a B & B near the station! It’s really disgusting, too – a big damp patch on the wall above the bed, and an air-freshener on the landing so toxic that I have to carry Watson quickly to our room, for fear the smell will kill him. But I suppose that’s neither here nor there. At least they let me check in after midnight, and have turned a blind eye to the dog. But you don’t want to hear about that. Good God, I’m beginning like Winterton! You don’t even know who I am yet! Rather than explain everything here, I have attached a folder and a file for you to read – some of which you will be familiar with, as it was written by you in the first place. I think it will make clear everything that’s happened so far. When you have read it all, you will know everything that I know. Which means you will also be aware of many unanswered questions, and many frustrating gaps.

Before you read the attached, I feel I should apologise for some of my ‘editorialising’ in my account of the material in the folder ‘Beside the Sea’ – especially any observations detrimental to yourself. I believe I call you an ‘idiot’ on several regrettable occasions. I had no right to do this. ‘Staggering stupidity’ is a rather inflammatory phrase that leapt out when I was preparing the material to attach with this. On top of this, I noticed an unfounded and speculative reference to ‘floppy hair’ (you might be bald, for all I know), and also remarks such as, ‘He really is out of his intellectual depth with Roger’ and ‘For once, he makes an intelligent decision.’ I hope you can overlook such uncalled-for slurs. The plain fact is that I did find myself quite captivated by Roger. I can’t help admiring him, even now. I think it was something to do with his educated love of Tennyson’s earlier poetry and his profound aesthetic response to ancient cultural sites. Such intellectual elegance doesn’t come along very often.

I send you all this with a particular purpose. I have a large favour to ask. Since my life is evidently in danger from talking cats with lethal powers who can penetrate academic libraries and engineer the cruel deaths of inoffensive terrier dogs – and since there is no one else in the world with whom I would dare even raise the subject of talking

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